Day 22

I kept myself busy today.  After taking Little Monster to school I came home; I ate breakfast and cleaned for about an hour and then started in on my homework.  I think I had been studying for about an hour when Mr B called because he needed some paperwork.  It took me several hours to hunt down the piece of paper he needed, I also took a short break for lunch, and then after I scanned it in and emailed it to him I only had an hour left before Little Monster got out of school.  So I returned to my textbook until it was time to get him from school.  Today I discovered that it was easy to keep focused on reading my textbook if I spent that time knitting… so I decided to do that and it accomplishes two things; I’ve been working on this current project for almost 7 years and I really need to get it done.  If you compare today’s photo from the one two days ago you can see it’s doubled in size.

I feel like my day didn’t go at all as planned.  I had wanted to get my chapter read so I could spend tomorrow on the next subject.  But now I’m behind on my reading… sometimes even the best of intentions are enough to battle unexpected circumstances.  I only have 2 pages left in my chapter.  They can wait for tomorrow.  Yoga class first thing, I am so excited! (time to drink more water)

Flickr is one of my favorite places to frequent online.  I finally started taking pictures again and it always makes me feel… alive.  I just joined this group called “Item Collaboration”  it’s only for the month of January, next month it will just be “Collaboration” and the idea is that there is an item or theme that you’re supposed to photograph each day.  Yesterday’s item was “Hands” and today’s item was “Shoes.”  I was excited about today’s item because I found my baby shoes while going through boxes.  I decided to take those little dress shoes and photograph them next to my grown-up dress shoes.  Originally I was going to photograph the baby shoes on the little sweater and then my grown-up shoes on my red chenille blanket, but the red blanket was too reflective…so I decided to place them on the mirror instead and I just love the way it turned out.

I am off to drink some water and watch one show while knitting before I head to bed.  I hope you all have a great week!

You don’t have to agree with me…

I am glad that we can disagree.  How amazing that we are all given the freedom to think and believe differently.  The truth is, that each of us believes something completely different about the world because no two people have the same experiences.  We might agree on a topic, but it will probably be fore completely different reasons because of our different backgrounds.  And we may completely disagree for the same reasons.  I believe it is healthy to accept that not everyone is going to believe the same as me; but I also like to question why people believe one way and not the other.  I find it fun when both sides of an issue have completely valid points and they can accept the validity of each others’ arguments.

This is just a random post of me being thankful that we live in a country where we all have the freedom to express ourselves and our beliefs, and thankful that I have friends and family who still loves me even when we don’t agree.

I bring this up because my mom posted a link to a video that was an illustration of Obama’s budget plans (I’ll include the video).  We discussed how we’d like to see specific programs represented using that visualization (pennies on a table).  It is a very good visualization and the discussion did result in me outlining a lot of my political thoughts, which I’ve been meaning to do.  So, as I formulate further, I’ll post my thoughts on politics.  They are definitely not mainstream…and other military wives might be shocked at some of my outrageous ideas.  I love defining my political beliefs with my husband, he and I have had a lot of good dreamy conversations about what the perfect world would be like.

"Until there is peace between religions, there can be no peace in the world."— Thich Nhat Hanh

Click the link below to watch the video.

Day 21–Week 3

Little Monster and I decided to be creative last night.  I finally started working on my nieces and nephews’ Christmas presents (ahem).  Yes, I know I’m behind, but I’m sure the kids will LOVE getting presents into the new year anyway.  We had a LOT of fun with the project.  We only completed one out of the seven, and part of that was because we only had enough fabric to make 3 presents.  I found the rest of the fabric today… but instead of sewing, we just lounged about and watched movies, and cuddled today.  I am excited to have a project we can do together after homework.  We’ll only be able to complete one a day, so we’ll be busy at least the next two weeks (I would like to say we’ll work on this every night, but I don’t know if that is going to be possible).  I am loving having a sewing table in the 3rd bedroom.  Little Monster and I were trying to decide if we should call that the "office", the "computer room", or the "sewing room" and we decided it's just the "spare room."  Since it has all that stuff in it; he says.

I did get some laundry done and I did spend time knitting.  I’ll be honest, most of my day was spent in the recliner alternating between knitting and watching Spiderman and cuddling with my son.

Tonight I decided I needed a snack, I wanted something sweet and all I have is pudding.  I have three flavors; butterscotch, banana cream pie and tapioca.  I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to eat so I brought them all with me to the recliner and opened one at random.  Yum.  Banana cream pie.  Now I have to go put the rest back… that means I have to get out of my chair.  I think that can wait.

So, here are some pictures from our sewing adventure last night.  My particular favorite is the one with us laughing.

Day 20

I mailed off some packages to my hubby and I now realize I forgot some things that I wanted to send, I guess he’ll have to wait to get those items.  My son (Little Monster) told me I must not have any money left after going to the post office because the guy asked me for "All ze monies" to send a package.  Apparently Little Monster thought the cost to ship the packages were as expensive as I did.  I sent my hubby (Mr B) some rechargeable batteries (he can charge those using the solar charger we bought a couple years ago) and a new toothbrush that he can replace the brushes on (and use with the rechargeable batteries).  I also sent him some grape soda.  I knew he’d enjoy getting graped, and I know he will have a lot of fun passing them out and graping everyone else too.

I was feeling a little creative today so I decided to take a picture of my new necklace pendant… I took it in the mirror so I could get a photo of my tattoo as well (that was a LOT harder than I thought it would be).  I really the Tree of Life, the idea that everything is connected… it makes me feel closer to Mr B; knowing that even though he’s far away we’re still a part of each other.  Yeah, it’s sappy, don’t judge me.  I wish I would have done some maintenance on my hand before I took the photo, my nail beds and hands are all roughed up from moving and cleaning.

I have been working on my knitting a bit more today.  I’m still not very far, but part of that is because I realized I had made some mistakes earlier on and I had to pull out 12 rows of stitching.  I am thinking about just knitting 10-15 rows at a time and then connecting them all together at the end but I haven’t decided yet.  I’m including a picture of what I’ve accomplished so far.  Little Monster wanted me to teach him to knit, so I helped him knit a few stitches and then he decided it was too hard and that he was done for today.

Day 19

Today my life consists of realizing that it’s okay to need people.  I’m supposed to need people.  Because, after all, isn’t life people?

I was able to chat with my husband…it was nice to hear his voice.  I really needed that today.  I feel silly for thinking that this adjustment period would be easy because of how much we’ve had to adjust over the last year.  It does make me laugh a little, since I read today for Psychology that people tend to overestimate or underestimate how they will react and adjust to an upcoming change.  I guess there are just too many uncontrolled external factors for anyone to be able to gauge how they will react to a give situation.  Even if all the variables were controlled, would our emotions stay in check?

My husband seems to be doing very well.  He said that he still doesn’t fit in with the group of people he’s with, but he’s trying to make the best of the situation since he can’t change it.  He inspires me to want to be better.

Day 18

What do stylish frogs wear?…. Jump suits.

My son’s progress report came today.  He is finally catching up in his reading skills.  He was behind for the first half of 1st grade and now he’s right at his grade level.  We’ve been working on reading every night and I make him read me a book before he’s allowed to play video games.  When he plays video games I also require that he reads the instructions on the screen instead of having me read it to him (though I do help him with the harder words).

He also got a ticket for a free ice-cream cone for doing good at school.  We ate dinner early and I took him to DQ to get his cone.  He walked up to the counter and asked for a Vanilla Cone and handed the woman his ticket.  She took the ticket and read it and then asked how he earned the ticket.  After he explained that he got Soar Tickets for reading she congratulated him on doing such a good job.  When his cone was ready the other woman working presented it to him and told him to keep up the good work.  He thought it was so neat to have everyone tell him what a great job he did (one of the other customers congratulated him on reading and earning a cone too).  He was very proud of himself…I’m pretty proud of him too.   He can tie his shoes very well now.  He just has to remember to pay attention to what he’s doing (especially when it’s time to wrap the loop).

We took a walk today.  It’s been so nice but I’ve had a lot for us to do in the evenings… tonight we took a walk before we started dinner and homework.  It was nice to get some fresh air.

Tonight he wanted to take a bubble bath with daddy’s soap because he wanted to smell like daddy.  He crawled up on my lap just before asking and cuddled with me a bit.  He wanted me to read his bedtime story while he soaked in the bubbles.  I’m perfectly okay with that… it’s a good way to pass the time in a bath (I wish someone could read to me!  I need to get a good audio player so that I can listen to audio books in the bath).

And now… I’m off to complete more homework.  I put most of it off today and I need to finish this psychology chapter quiz before Saturday (that means I have to finish reading the chapter).  I love school!

Before I go… what makes you happy?

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Day 17

My son can tie his shoes!  I felt like it was never going to happen.

He was so out of sorts after school, I fed him a snack, but I think he was extra hungry.  He finished off two plates of dinner.

I don’t really want to write today because I don’t feel that I have much to write about. My day consisted of doing my home-work…and I don’t feel like I got very far.  I have to complete all these tutorials online for my Computer class and the software has a lot of glitches so I didn’t get much done.  But I have a 1 page paper due every Saturday for my Psychology class and I already have that finished for the week.  I just have to finish reading the chapter and take my quiz, then finish my computer tutorials and take that quiz (I can’t take the quiz until the tutorials are done and I can’t just skip through the tutorials because they’re interactive).  If nothing else, I did learn 1 shortcut in MS Word.

Okay.  I’m going to go cuddle with my little man before bedtime now.

Day 16

My first Yoga class was this morning.  I was pretty tired… I’m glad we just had introductions this morning.  Next week we get to start the real stuff.

I tried to be productive today, but I just wasn’t.  Right now I’m working on a homework assignment for my Computer class.  It’s super easy, but I have to wait for my virus scan to finish the assignment and it’s taking FOREVER.  I have to take a screen shot when it’s finished showing that I completed the task… I’m just going to pause it and complete the assignment in the morning (it’s going to take another hour to complete).  It’s not due until next week, but I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

My son got to talk to his daddy briefly tonight and this is part of the conversation I overheard:

A: matter of factly - “What did you do today that was fun dad?”
B: excited: “I rode in a hmmv and got to wear my armor all day.”
A: “No. I said ‘fun.’” (he stressed the word fun and he sounded annoyed)

It was at that point I had to leave the room laughing.  Apparently my son didn’t think any of that was very fun at all… I wonder if that’s because he’s tried to pick up his dad’s armor before?

Even though I didn’t accomplish much today I was still all over town (I did get my Psychology book today).  I think I’m getting the cold that’s going around.  To bed…

Day 15

First day of school.  I’m still waiting for my Psychology book.  I hope it gets here tomorrow.  I just want to get moving.

The computer class I have to take looks super easy; thankfully I can finish as quickly as I want to, so I’m going to try and finish as soon as possible.

I finished setting up the kitchen today and found a lot of cool things that I forgot I had.  I’m trying to stick to my rule that if I don’t have a place for something it’s going back in a box.  There are already a few boxes I have set aside to donate somewhere.  A lot of kitchen items right now.

I am so thankful that my son has such a great teacher.  She is so patient with him.  Staying here was the best decision I could have made.  As soon as he got settled into school here it was an easy decision to make.  My son thinks it’s great, because I had him help me decide.

There is this video on YouTube called “The Grapist.”  It’s absolutely retarted, but my hubby and his buddies like to go on and on about how they’re going to grape each other.   “I’m gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you in the mouth!”  Yeah, it sounds dirty.  I guess you have to watch the video to completely understand (see below).  Anyway, I decided I’m going to send my hubby a bunch of grape soda so he can grape all the guys.

Okay… it’s obviously time for bed.  Goodnight.

97 days…

It’s that time of year… time to gear up for the annual March of Dimes’ March for Babies.

On April 30th, 2011 I will participate in my 4th March for Babies.

I always knew about March of Dimes.  My dad had polio as a child and it’s hard to know about polio without knowing about MOD.  My oldest brother was born severely pre-mature and suffers from mental retardation and cerebral palsy as a result of his prematurity, but I never connected the research conducted by MOD with the tools that were used to save my brother’s life.  I didn’t start donating to MOD, or make the connection to their efforts to fight prematurity, until I was pregnant with my son.  It wasn’t until then that I realized the scope of MOD’s mission.  The place we banked sold some of the little stuffed animals… I didn’t actually buy one of the stuffed animals until my son was a little older, but I contributed a dollar every time I had to go into the bank.  When I was 6 months along and my little man decided to try and make an early appearance (on his daddy’s birthday)… I was able to benefit from the research that MOD has helped fund.  My doctor gave me medication to stop my labor and I was put on complete bed rest.  My son made his appearance two months later, still 1 month pre-term, but a healthy 6 lbs. 4 oz..

I know many others whose lives have been affected by prematurity, infant death, or birth defects… and every year the number seems to grow.  I walk in the March for Babies for all of those whose lives have been changed from pre-term birth, birth defects, or the loss of a child.

I could go on and on about how wonderful March of Dimes is and how amazing it feels to be a part of the process, even if it is only a small part.

If you’d like to learn more about the March of Dimes you can visit their website.  Alternatively, you can visit my page (banner above) and read more of mine and my family’s story… you’ll also be able to make a contribution.  If you are unable to donate monetarily, please sign up and join my team to walk with me… or find your local chapter where you can get involved.

My hope, and the hope and goal of March of Dimes, is that one day all babies will be born healthy.  I know that there will always be circumstances beyond our control, but shouldn’t we make a difference if we are able?

Day 14–Week 2

Today was… not very eventful.  I haven’t been feeling very good the last couple of days so I mostly took it easy.  I think I haven’t been getting enough sleep (I’ve been going to bed late, waking up early, and not taking naps).  So this week I need to work really hard on sleeping better.  I started knitting again yesterday.  Maybe someday I’ll finish this blanket I started when I was on bed-rest before my son was born (that’s almost 7 years ago now).  If I get it finished it’s going to whoever has the baby closest to it’s completion date… and with all of my friends/family having babies, could it be you?

I started working on my taxes tonight.  Tomorrow I have some loose ends to tie up and then I should be ready to file.  So close!

Spring semester starts tomorrow.  I’m excited to start… maybe time will pass more quickly.  I hope so.  My son keeps asking me, “when is daddy coming home?” and “Is daddy going to be here in a few days?”  and I have to keep reminding him that it’s a lot of days before daddy comes home.  Breaks my heart.

My emotions have been all over the place today.  I think I’m just going to call it a night.

I am so thankful that my husband has some great men and women to back him up when he needs it most.  Thank you.

Side note:  I’ve started using the “read more” feature on my blog for any images/videos to make my blog load faster.  I also am trying to split any long entries to keep it clean…  what do you think?  Is it effective or is it annoying to have to click the link?

Day 13

Today we just sat at home and were pretty lazy… mostly.  I got all the boxes that were in the kitchen emptied out.  Tomorrow I’ll bring in more boxes to the kitchen and keep sorting by “to keep” and “not to keep.”  The stuff to keep gets put away and the stuff not to keep goes in boxes to donate.  I am enjoying the slow pace un-packing.  I am planning to get rid of a LOT of things that we don’t need/want anymore.  But I’m only really going to do that with stuff that isn’t my husbands.  Some things will just stay in boxes until he gets home.  I’m not going to bring (or leave) anything in the house that is not going to be put away.  I don’t want clutter.  I want organization.  So I’m going to unpack one room at a time, one box at a time.  I think this will be the best method.  I’ve decided that the kitchen will come first since I’ll need those items to live with, but everything else can be gradual.  I need to move in our clothing and toiletries some time next week and go grocery shopping so we won’t just be having “sleep overs” any more.
While I was cleaning this morning, I decided that I need to schedule to clean the door jams, doors, baseboards, and blinds once a month.  So I put it into my blackberry calendar to remind me.
We’re staying at the house again tonight, but tonight Austin decided to be scared, even though he was perfectly fine yesterday.
I was thinking more and more about career options and what I want to do with my life.  There are so many possibilities, but whatever I choose has to meet certain requirements; I don’t want to be in school for more than 4 years, I want a career that isn’t too time consuming (I want to have time with my family), I want something that pays “decent” enough that I’d be comfortable with the limitations of my career field, and I would like to choose something that is in high enough demand that I could go straight from school into a job.  I think that last requirement might be the hardest to meet.  I thought about doing hospital/medical administration, becoming a medical imaging technician, or a pharmacist.  Who knows.  I’ll keep mulling it over, I still have time to figure out “what I want to be when I grow up.”

Day 12

Today the gas was put in my name.  I had a heck of a time trying to get the pilot in the water heater to light, I am SO glad Pete was able to come over and help me out.

Since the gas was turned on and we had hot water we are able to stay at the house tonight.  My son is so excited.  We ordered pizza and had our friends over for dinner.  Since we’ve been spending the last few months at their house we got to switch it up a little.

I had a nice long phone conversation with my sister tonight.  She got me thinking about a lot of different things.  Mostly in regards to school and work.  A lot of ideas are culminating, I guess we’ll see what comes from them.
This morning I weighed myself.  I haven’t stepped on a scale for a while so I decided to see where I was.  Without being aware, I reached my goal!  I am so excited.  It’s taken me 5 years to reach my goal.  What should I do to celebrate?  I did buy some of those big hostess chocolate cupcakes… that’ll do.

Day 11

To be honest, I felt quite lazy today.  I had a horrid sleep last night.  I didn’t get to sleep until almost 2am.  Shortly after falling asleep I was dreaming about someone breaking into my house and I swore I heard knocking… no really, I heard someone knocking on my window… and I shot up out of bed and went out into the hall way to get away from my window… I thought I was going to throw up.  I’ve never felt my heart pound so hard.  Then I realized it was just the cat in the next room using the litter box.  What a horrible way to wake up.  I’ve never felt the urge to vomit when scared before.  That was a new one.  I already wasn’t feeling good, and I was severely lacking sleep so perhaps that’s why I had that reaction. 

I went back to sleep and my son woke me up at 6am.  “Mom, I peed.”  He’d been doing so good up until two nights ago.  He wet himself, but not the bed… then he wet the bed this morning… then he had an accident at school today (he said he was even standing in the bathroom and just couldn’t get his pants down fast enough).  I asked him why he waited so long.  He said that they told everyone to wait until they had to go really bad.  I explained that “really bad” was sooner for most people than it was for him.  So I told him to go when he thinks he won’t be able to hold it very long.  He said that was okay, he would do that.  He has missed his dad a lot the last few days, I thought the Skype chat last night would make it better, but I think it made it worse… he seems to have more accidents the more emotionally strained he is.

He had a hard morning… he was cranky and completely out of sorts.  I know I was cranky because I didn’t get enough sleep.  When I picked him up from school he was okay, but then cried shortly after getting in the car.  We made a video tour of the new place to send to my hubby… my son was so excited to be the tour guide/reporter and that we could send the video to his dad.  But he just wanted to show his dad his own room, my room, and the kitchen.  The rest of the house wasn’t important.  He had another melt down at the house so I decided it was time to go get some food… he said he was hungry, so we went to buy some food from Wal-Mart to take home to make dinner.  On the way there he had another melt down and talked about how he missed his daddy; I keep telling him that his daddy gave me all his love so that when he needed it I could give him love from his daddy and from me.   So as soon as we got out of the car he got a huge hug and some kisses.  He then said “I am so starving, can we go to McDonald’s drive thru?”  I figured we’d just make a quick trip inside and go home to eat, but as soon as he saw the little Subway shop he asked “oh! mom, can I eat here? They’ll let me get whatever I want!”  (apparently he’s seen commercials even though we haven’t had cable for a very long time) I decided to let him, because I know how hungry I can get all of a sudden and he’s been that way a lot this last week.  He got a 6” ham & cheese with pickles and olives on flatbread.  After we sat down that sandwich was gone in 2 minutes.  He was definitely hungry and it made me feel good for my decision to let him eat right then and there.  Based on his emotions it made sense that he was hungry… and tired.

Day 10

Would you laugh if I told you I forgot what day I was on?  Well, laugh if you want to.
Tonight we were able to Skype chat with my hubby just before bed.  It was an extra special treat for my son, because he got to watch his daddy while I read his bedtime story and my hubby would make comments about what we were reading.  We read “The Very Hungry Caterpillar.”

I talked with my grandmother on the phone the other day, she was asking how we were doing and told me just to keep as busy as I could.  My grandfather was in the Navy and he had six sea tours before finally becoming a recruiter; the family joke is that there is one daughter for each tour.  My grandmother is an amazing woman, she managed herself and the family through six deployments.  And the deployments then weren’t like they are now.  There’s no occasional phone calls, no cell phones so that she wouldn’t miss if he was able to call, no Skype chat, or email… it was so much harder!  I figure if she could make it through all of those deployments I can definitely make it through this one year, with only one child… and especially when I have email, texting, Skype, and occasional phone calls.  So, while I’m sad that he will be away for a year I am so incredibly proud of him and thankful that I do have a lot of avenues for communication.  I’ve told him is that any communication more frequent than once every other week is bonus.  I can’t expect any more than that…

Day 9

Okay. I'll admit that I'm not so excited for this posting. My eyes are barely staying open. But I wanna keep this going. So here I am.

With the help of two great guys all the furniture and most of our storage shed is emptied (most of it is in the garage, but that's okay). Tomorrow the water and power will be turned on, Friday the gas will be turned on, and I'll have the internet on within the next week.

My sister called and I get to spend some time with her & her family next month. I haven't seen them in 5 years so I am VERY excited!

I am tired from all the moving I did today. I still have so much to do tomorrow. The last few days have been like that. It's a good tired though.

"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each." - Thoreau

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Day 8

Wow.  I haven’t been this tired since… well, since last week.  Haha.  I really do feel that it’s been the longest week ever.

Today I got up at 6 and then left to work at the house around 8:30.  I know I probably could have just moved everything in, but I guess I’m just too OCD and needed to clean.  It’s been sitting empty for a while, so it’s all dusty and dirty.  I didn’t finish cleaning everything because I spent quite a bit of time helping my son go through his toys.  He had a lot of fun with all of the toys he’s had over the last four years dumped out on the floor.  Tomorrow the only things I have to clean are the blinds in the living room and kitchen and then just a quick wipe down of the bathrooms.  I’m glad I decided to clean before moving stuff in though.  I don’t know that I would have gotten these parts clean if I had waited

The oven doesn’t work.  I have to call my landlord about that tomorrow.

We took a 2-hour break for lunch, my son watched a movie while I rested.

We’re watching up and then going to bed.

Tomorrow he has to go back to school and I think we’re going to start moving furniture in tomorrow.

Well, I’m wiped out.  So I’m going to go now and cuddle with my boy.

Day 7, Week 1

We did it!  We made it through our first week.  Has it really only been a week?  It feels like the longest week ever!  I’m sure once I start moving in and once school gets started I’ll feel too darn busy and the time will start passing more quickly.

Today I am buying a fridge.  I went all the way into town to meet with the only person who called me back; the fridge is nice, a little old, but in great shape.  On my way in to see it I got a call back from someone near home that had a fridge listed.  I went and saw that one too.  It’s newer than the one in town and the same price… I decided to go with that one because it’s only a couple miles away and I’m having a friend help me move it.  This evening we’ll go over, pick it up, and put it in my new place! 

Things just keep coming together… this worries me a little.  It seems that every time things come together something goes wrong and everything falls apart.  Yes, this is a bit pessimistic, but after the last few times things have fallen in place I have the “this is too good to be true” mentality.  You know though, even the things I thought went “wrong” worked out for the best.  When I moved to Colorado and that place fell through I got to go live with my hubby in Georgia… if I had stayed in Nevada I never would have been able to spend those three months with him or see so much of the country!  So while it felt like things “fell apart” at the time, they actually worked out better than I could have imagined to begin with.  I guess that’s true with a lot of things in my life.  See, I just talked myself into thinking positively instead of pessimistically.  Aren’t you proud of me?
My son sat down to eat lunch.  He had been telling me how hungry he was.  After he started eating he looked over at me sitting next to him and said “I’m hungry like a wolf.”  Of course the song started playing in my head.  He said, “you know that song, from Shrek?  Can we have a Shrek marathon?”  So he finished eating and I let him start watching Shrek.

We took a break in between the Shrek movies.  The first break we took a walk around the block (the long way).  It was such a beautiful day and it was so nice to be outside.  My body is telling me it needs more sunlight and warmth.

Day 6

Today was an eventful day!

I started the day off at 7 am.  My son woke up at 6:30 and then played video games for a half hour before it was time for breakfast.

While I wasn’t so excited at 6:30, it was nice to get an early start on my day.  Today was the day for looking at houses.  I met with the guy I called yesterday (the house without the fridge) and saw his house.  It is a 3 bed/2 bath, but not too big for me & my son.  So I went home and mulled it over, looked at the other listings in town and decided to go for it.  Not only is this the best price for a house that size (3 bedroom and a 2 car garage), but I only have a landlord to deal with and not a property management company.  I put down my deposit tonight.  I explained that I didn’t have the money for rent until the first, but wanted to secure the place with the deposit.  We signed all the paperwork and I paid the deposit, then he gave me the keys and told me that I could start moving in right away on the condition that I put the utilities in my name for the rest of the month.  So Monday I will call and have the utilities switched over and I’ll start moving in.  This is perfect because I always like to clean places before I move in (places are never as clean as I think they should be) and then it will be a smoother transition for my son.

So, I have a place now!  I was frustrated and worried a few days ago and it’s perfectly fine.  I feel very confident and comfortable with my decision.  The best part is that the landlord knows the neighbors very well and said that they’re great people and always keep an eye on the place for him.  I met the one neighbor today… it’s nice to move into a place already knowing that my neighbors are good people and will look out for me too.  The neighbor offered to help me out if I needed anything done inside the house (clogged toilets, etc.).

Day 5

This morning started out with my son saying “Mom, I’m obnauseous.”  I think he meant to say nauseous but mixed it with obnoxious.  “What do you mean?”  “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”  Nauseous it was.  I could tell he didn’t really feel sick so I told him he still had to go to school but that the nurse would call me if he did throw up.

While he was at school I looked up rentals.  I think I may have found a place to live.  3 bedrooms for $800/month.  I’m going to go look at the place tomorrow… the place has a 2 car garage too so I could park the trailer and one of the cars inside.  The only downside is that it doesn’t have a fridge, so I’m going to go Craigslist shopping for a fridge if I get the place.  I’m excited.

I also bought some pants for my son today.  He’s gotten so big over the last year.  It’s still hard to grasp that he’ll be 7 this summer.  Time goes by so quickly.  I have to keep reminding myself that.

When he got home from school we went birthday present shopping for a boy in his class; tomorrow is the birthday party and he said he’s excited to go.  We watched The Lightening Thief because he’s been asking to watch it and I figured we could stay up a little late since it’s Friday.  We ended up watching it early and then we watched Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland… we finished at his normal bedtime and he was SO tired that he did not stay up late.  He didn’t notice though because he was tired.

We’re working on listening, not whining, and saying “please” and “thank you.”  He seems to forget those things every time dad leaves.  He’ll also try the “you didn’t give me a choice” argument… and I explain to him that he doesn’t get a choice about everything.  Some things just are but I will let him choose whenever he can choose.  He seemed to like that answer.  I really don’t know what to do about him sucking and chewing his hands and clothes, or chewing and picking at his lips.  This started when Doc died and got much worse when we moved back home.  I am hoping that the transition into having our own place again will help him feel more secure and settled.  He gets very confused about authority roles when his dad is gone.

I am now going to watch an episode or two of The Pretender.  I haven’t seen any of this show since it originally aired and I remember liking it then.  A lot of my tastes are different now so I guess we’ll see if it is any good years later.

Day 4

This will be short. I'm already in bed and half asleep.

Today we woke up early for a conference with the teacher, but she had a family emergency and was out of town... so we came back home and had hot chocolate before my son had to be back for school.

I took my resume in to a company in Reno. It sounds like my chances there are pretty good. So I'm just waiting for a call. It's so funny because jobs manage to fall in my lap when I'm not looking for them. Like the other day, I was shopping and offered a p/t retail job. I hope this other pans out, though it would be fun to get a discount on clothes.

I found some discs my parents sent me with movies for my son & I to watch together. I'm excited to watch them tomorrow.

We went to Pete's parents' house for his birthday dinner. I nearly fell apart during dinner... maybe it was because I was tired, maybe it's because I was surrounded by such a big loving family and still felt lonely without my hubby close by. When he was gone for 3 weeks last month it was no big deal... but this isn't like that.

Maybe the reality is starting to sink in.

This was longer than I expected. I need some rest to take care of everything tomorrow. And so... To sleep.


"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each." - Thoreau

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Lessons in Parenting

My BlogFriend posted this on her blog yesterday and I thought I'd share.

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

by Amy Lawrence 

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.


Lesson 2


Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.



Lesson 3


A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.


Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?


Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.


Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.


Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.


Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.


Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Day 3

Today I updated my blog template.  Argyle, yay!  I started liking argyle when I was 16, but it wasn’t until 2 years ago that I was finally comfortable with admitting that I enjoy argyle patters… and then it became popular again and I went back to not wanting to admit that I like the design.  But here I am… I love argyle and I don’t care who knows it!

 

I started the deployment calendar with my son.  We had fun.  I also started looking at rentals today and it made me very discouraged.  All the good places I saw a month ago are gone (and for good reason), but I didn’t have money until now… tomorrow morning I am going to go in and get a list of current rentals and then try to look at as many as I can within my price range.  My son wants us to rent a house, but I don’t know if that will be possible anymore.  I am hopeful.

 

I can’t stay up any longer.  My head hurts and I just want to cry.  Right now I am in the “I can’t believe he’s really gone” mode.  It feels like that’s the wrong mind set… won’t that make the realization of his absence that much more difficult?

Day 2

I don't know if I'll keep this up every day, but I'll try.

I completely forgot that my son was given a deployment calendar that we're supposed to work on together. That makes me feel like a bad mom. He's already in bed. We'll have to complete 3 days tomorrow after homework.

Today wasn't very eventful. My son woke up in a good mood, got ready swiftly and then got off to school on time. He asked me to pack him a lunch; peanut butter & jelly, string cheese, train mix, and fruit snacks. He wanted to have options for snacks.

I went to counseling today. I decided it was a good idea to go and talk to someone who could help me transition into being a single parent for the next year. After only 1 session without my son I feel like I got a lot of useful and helpful information. There were several times I almost cried, but I wouldn't allow myself to cry. That makes me feel weak (that I won't cry).

After the counseling appointment I met up with my friend Jenn for lunch and a chat. I miss chatting with her. She always gives me a new perspective on things. She is one of the few people I trust completely. She's honest with me and that means so much!

I dropped off some clothes for one of my battle buddies kids. My son has outgrown a lot and I'm sure once we get moved in and I sift through the storage that I'll have a lot more to give. Toys especially.
Before heading home I made a quick stop to buy some clothes that I've been putting off buying because I rarely go into town. The lady that was working was chatting with me, turns out we have the same name! She asked me if I was working, I let her know I was going to school and trying to finish up my degree, that I had moved around a lot last year... and she offered me a part time job. It was so unexpected. She said she'd like me to work for her. I thought that was a pretty great compliment and it made me feel good about myself. Somebody wants me.

When I picked my son up from school we came home and I helped him through his homework (super easy). He had to do math today and he is so good at math. His assignment was to make up groups of 10, which wasn't very difficult. So we sat and watched The Secret of the Kells, and I have to say that even though the artwork is a little different, I this it’s absolutely beautiful.  He wanted to play video games after the movie was over, but it was almost dinner time so I told him that it was time for him to read to me and then I read to him until dinner was ready… I wanted to make sure he got plenty of 1-on-1 attention time spent cuddling.

Day 1

It's here.  The first day of my hubby's deployment.  I am anxious to see what this year will bring.  Please forgive me in advance for any rants or tangents.  My goal is to stay positive and to refrain from complaints, but if I slip up please just look the other way... or if I need someone, just be there.

How can I be anything but proud of my husband and the sacrifice he's making?  I spent a lot of time this weekend meeting some of the people he'll be with over the next 12 months, and I am SO thankful that he'll be with such a great group of people.  It's so odd to me though, because when he talks to the other soldiers they talk about how excited they are to go because it's what they were trained for.  I know that you can't join the military in a time of war and expect not to go, or expect not to be trained to go...

I think I've finally gotten over my initial feelings of the Army having replaced my importance in his life.  I am beginning to understand the duality of his emotions.  During the mobilization ceremony yesterday the Sergent Major got up to speak... he sounded very choked up and had to end early because he couldn't steady his voice.  My husband told me later that this is his last deployment; his first was during Vietnam and he was handing in his resignation when he found out that his unit was going to deploy and decided to wait to turn his papers in until after this deployment.  I think it's so wonderful that he wanted to see his unit through another deployment even if it meant he wouldn't retire "on time."  My husband said he knows each of the soldiers by name and well enough to converse with them and remember their last conversations.  That's 400 soldiers, from 2 different states; in our state alone that is over a lot of geographical space.  He's told me about conversations with this man in the past, and I can't help but respect him.  How many others would put off their retirement to join their troops in the war?  He's definitely worthy of being a leader and has earned my respect.  It makes me feel good to know that he'll be in charge while my hubby is away.



So, now I get to figure out what I am going to do for the next year.  I already decided I'm not doing "resolutions."  Tomorrow I'm going to start looking for a place for my son & I to live.  I need to finish up some Christmas sewing projects (I'm so bad!)!  I first put them off because of school, then because I wanted to spend all my time with my hubby, now I have to get them done before school starts again (2 weeks to find a house and finish my Christmas projects for the nieces/nephews).

We had contemplated getting a dog, but I think that's just not a good idea.  So, after we get a place I'm going to take my son to pick out some fish.  He had some neon tetras before... 2 of them named after himself... but one was allergic to air and the other was allergic to kool-aid.  I think this time we'll get a better filtration system and some bottom feeders so we don't have as many opportunities for accidents.

Anyway... a lot of thoughts are going through my head about what this next year will be like, but I'm not going to worry.  I have an amazing group of family and friends to keep me sane.  I love you all.


But here's a song that's been stuck in my head:



My hubby played this for me Saturday.  Boy I sure do love that man.

How to be alone...

A couple of my friends posted this video on Facebook and I feel it's worth sharing.

The Year in Review

I began last year with a lot of goals for myself (you can read about those here and here).  I did not accomplish many of those goals because a lot of things happened that I could not have planned for.
So, let’s take a look at this last year:

• I moved several times; starting in Nevada, spending 3 months in Colorado, 3 months in Georgia, and ending up back home.
• My son graduated Kindergarten and started 1st Grade.
• My husband transferred units and finished his 2nd MOS training.
• My grandfather lost a short battle with Lymphoma, my hubby’s godfather (my son’s grandfather) lost his 17+ year battle with Prostate Cancer, my sister-in-law’s mother-in-law lost her short battle with stomach cancer…
• We visited the Garden of the Gods, Georgia Aquarium, various places around San Francisco, Denver, Co. Springs, Augusta, Savannah, and Atlanta.  We saw the sunrise on the Atlantic Ocean and the sun set on the Rocky Mountains.  I saw one of the Great Lakes for the first time (even if it was foggy) and stood beneath California Redwoods.
• I got my first tattoo (even if it was only my ring) and finally got my belly button pierced.
• I was a bridesmaid for my friend Jenn’s wedding.
• I went fossil hunting, carved my first pumpkin, and watched the first total lunar eclipse on the Winter Solstice since 1638.

This last year was pretty crazy, but so completely full.  I saw so many new things and learned so much from all of my experiences.  I can honestly say that last year brought a lot of change in me.  While many good changes have taken place, I also feel several negative effects from the last year… things I hope to correct in the year to come.


What will this year bring?  Instead of making a list of resolutions, I will just post my accomplishments as they occur.  This year has been something I hoped would come slowly and wishing would pass soon.  Here it is; I will do with it what I can.

Hold your loved ones close and cherish each moment you have together. Take care of yourself, don't let people take advantage of you and don't sell yourself short. Do one thing that scares you this year… and then tell me all about it.