New Year's Eve Reflections

(taken from my Journal)

The last day of the year.
The last year of the decade.

I was remembering this morning how 10 years ago there was all that talk about the millennium bug/Y2K (which, I just discovered, is the title of a movie) and how all the world's computer's were going to crash and it was going to cause a failure of the global banking system. I applaud the computer-geek-opportunists who seized the moment selling "fixes" for the imminent doom. Thousands of people stock-piled food and prepared for power outages, religious organizations were spouting the end of the world. And what happened at midnight? Nothing. Yes, some computers did have the wrong date for all of a few second, minutes, or however long it took to reset the date (I think my parents' home computer reverted to the year 1989), but there were no lasting damages... except perhaps to those folks who invested in special software to "fix" the bug (I don't count the stockpiling of food as a loss since those are items that were eventually useful).

This year there is a lot of talk about the year 2012 being the end of the world. There was even a movie out this year using the year as the title.

I found a great site about 220 reported dates for the End of the World! and here's what it says about 2012:

The Mayan calendar has many divisions of time: months of 20 days, years of 360 days, katun of 7200 days and a baktun of 144,000 days. Their calendar started on 3114-AUG-13 BCE with the birth of Venus. They expected the world to last for exactly 13 baktun cycles. They anticipated the end of the world near the Winter Solstice of 2012.

 There's more about this date there as well, but I found that excerpt to be the most interesting.



More memories...
New Year's Eve was always exciting growing up. I remember it was the one time of year that I accepted nap time in order to stay up late. I remember so many years where we would all get ready and go to the church wide New Year's Eve Party at Ronnie Rex's house. Out of everything I did growing up, this was the biggest annual event I can think of. Everyone was there. Everyone brought food. And everyone brought gifts for a White Elephant exchange. They even had a separate one for the kids! It was the one time of the year where my parents would let us stay up past bed time. We would play games, watch movies, and eat all night long!
A couple years ago when Mr. B & I had a sushi party for New Year's Eve it definitely brought me back to that night. With one exception. At our party we completely forgot to watch the clock because we were so involved in our games... at Ronnie's party everyone was gathered around the TV to watch the ball drop in NYC. And at our party we didn't have a gift exchange... and Little Monster was the only child. Eventually I'd love to have a big house and be able to host parties like that.

Usually, I don't have plans for the last day of the year, but this year... I'm headed to a party at a friends house. I am excited to spend the evening with some good friends and I know there are sure to be laughs.

Resolution Project

My friend Jayme challenged me to a "resolution project."
Last night I wrote up my list of resolutions/goals: one for my physical benefit, one for my educational/artistic advancement, and one for my mental well-being. :)

#1; to be gluten-free every day (my health goal, I already started working on this one, I even made my own bread today!)
#2 to spend at least 2 hours a week exercising
#3; to spend at least 1/2 hour every day learning or creating something new (whether it's photography, an essay, knitting, researching ceoliac disease, cooking, etc)
#4; to spend at least 1/2 hour every day in meditation/reflection (starting by spending some time every day writing in my new journal)

#3 will probably be the easiest since I am starting school on the 25th--and I always love learning something new! It also ties into goal #1 since I need to spend a lot of time researching gluten-free foods and ceoliac disease.
 #4 will probably be my biggest challenge. Why oh why do I find it so hard to take only a half hour a day to relax and spend time with myself? (Away from the computer.) Then again, #2 might be the hardest since I have to go when someone is here to watch Little Monster. I guess I could wake up early 2 days a week... or I could go on one of Mr. B's night's off? I'll work on that one.

I actually got a head-start on my project.
Last night I spent a half hour writing in my journal; I wrote my goals/resolutions for the year and I wrote a little bit extra, just for me. I also spent some time writing at lunch.
This evening I baked my first loaf of gluten-free bread and am excited to eat it in my lunch tomorrow (Om nom nom nom). I've also spent some time researching gluten-free flour alternatives and locating stores that sell flour mixes.

Tomorrow is a new adventure, I wonder what I'll learn or create?

HDT quote for the day: "Let us grow to the full stature of our humbleness - ere we aspire to be greater."

Christmas Eve

I worked today. Christmas Eve. No one else wanted to work, I volunteered.
Several people came into the office today. A few thanked us for being open on a day when most business, let alone professional offices, are closed.

"Thank you." - Two words that a lot of people say every day. They rarely seem to carry the full meaning.

One of the patients was so thankful for us being open today that she bought my co-worker and I a pizza. I was surprised, and pleased.
She didn't have to do that, we were just doing our job (and getting paid to do it), but it was a very nice gesture and her way of showing us that she really did appreciate that we were there.
A half hour later our Mail Carrier came in and I offered him a piece. He was reluctant, but I insisted. He was very thankful for the food. He works weekends, and only gets two days off in a row when there is a holiday (or he takes vacation). And he was there today, so we shared our food. He was surprised, and it made me happy. I like sharing happiness with others.



Mr. B & I don't celebrate Christmas. We don't buy each other gifts for the holiday (however, we will buy each other items that we've been wanting if we can find a good deal). But we do-up the holiday for Little Monster. When we found out I was pregnant we decided we'd have to start celebrating Christmas when he turned 3. We want him to have a "normal" child-hood (whatever that means). We put up the tree. We wrap the presents. We hang the stockings. I even make Christmas cookies. And Mr. B's god-father comes over for dinner.


Christmas music gets irritating after the first day. It's all the same songs, just different artists and different versions. They get boring. People say "it's the most wonderful time of the year" and "'tis the season for giving" but to me it seems like people are generally more stressed, rude, and annoying.

I've been late to work almost every day because of other people. Two days ago I decided that I am going to start taking pictures on my cell phone any time something I can't control causes me to be late for work. That was the day someone double parked out front blocking my parking spot. That is an idea I may hold true to.


Little Monster loves Christmas. He was so excited to decorate the tree while we watched "A Muppets Christmas Carroll" and ate cookies. He was so excited to wrap presents for his dad, his cousin, and for me. He was so excited to see presents for himself under the tree and try to guess what they could be (he is very good at guessing).

Tonight he got to open his biggest gift and his stocking. The biggest gift was a futon because Mr. B & I decided it was time to upgrade him to a big boy bed (and he's been begging for a futon--it's a Transformer bed). The stocking had a lot of small toys in it, but instead of playing with his new toys he's been playing in the box that the futon came in. It's his "secret hide-out."

A lot of the things I've been doing with him (decorating the tree, watching 'A Muppets Christmas Carroll', playing in boxes) all remind me of some of the best times in my childhood.

-Decorating the tree was my favorite part of Christmas growing up. I remember always wanting to put up the ornaments that my grandmother had made (she hand crocheted and beaded them). Even though I don't like to celebrate Christmas for myself, I find myself wishing I had one of those ornaments. (The ornaments looked something like this.)

-'A Muppets Christmas Carroll' reminds me of my favorite Christmas. My grandparents had just moved close by and it was our first Christmas at their new place. That was the first time I watched that movie and the first Christmas that it didn't feel like our family was poor. Every Christmas after that felt progressively less poor, but that Christmas is the most memorable to me.

-Little Monster playing in the box reminds me of when I was young and we used to play with appliance boxes. The refrigerator boxes made the best forts! My dad would tape all the ends up and then cut us doors and windows and we would play for hours in the boxes. I remember it was the summer my younger brother Rett was born, we spent hours playing in those boxes and using "Squeez-it" bottles as water guns. We'd take a couple trash cans and fill them up with water, then fill the "Sqeez-it" bottles up with water and put them in the trashcans... we'd have a couple trash cans filled up like that in the middle of the lawn and then we'd all have a water fight... we grabbed one, sprayed someone, grabbed another, sprayed that one out and just kept going until they were all empty, then we'd start all over again. I can't imagine how high my parents water bill must have been.

All right, time to get my boy out of his box and put him to bed... he mentioned that he might want to sleep in the box. I just can't imagine that it would be easy to get out of in the event that he needs to use the bathroom... we'll see.



What is your favorite Christmas memory? Are there other good memories that have popped up recently? Talk to me.

Something worth-while...

"If the writer would interest readers, he must report so much life, using a certain satisfaction always as a point d’appui. However mean and limited, it must be a genuine and contented life that he speaks out of. They must have the essence or oil of himself, tried out of the fat of his experience and joy." - Henry David Thoreau

Growing up I wanted to be a great writer, I wanted to be a storyteller.
As I have grown I decided that I didn't like storytelling to much, why live in a fantasy world? I much prefer a real-life story than something made up.
My favorite books are non-fiction.
My favorite movies are based on real-life.
My favorite music are pieces that mean something to the artist.

Which is the thought behind Thoreau's statement. That's what I hope I'm providing here.

When I made the decision to only write what I knew, to write something real... that's when I stopped writing a lot. Why would anyone want to read about my life? It doesn't seem that interesting to me. But I feel compelled to write (and I do mean the full sense of the word). So after many many abandoned attempts that remain on my hard-drive, I decided to start this project. Will anyone read this? Maybe not any more than some of my closest friends, but it's real and it's mine.

Maybe someday Little Monster will find this. I wonder what he will think?

More about Peas

"She told you bad things you wished you could change... in the lazy summer... And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry."

That lyric reminds me of my first entry here.
I find that in my daily life I mask things. I'll brush things off as inconsequential just because I don't want to appear vulnerable.

But I'm dying for you to ask me more about how I feel.

I started writing an entry about all of my emotions surrounding Mr. B's leaving and coming home, but it feels too personal to me. Mr. B may be the only one to ever read it, I don't know if I'm ready to share that yet.



"The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most"

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by

This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And hidden in the public eye
Such a stellar monument to loneliness
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by...

Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all..or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Isolation

Lately I've been distancing myself from my friends.

I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say, or anything positive to add.

The last few weeks I've been feeling pretty down about everything.

Just frustrated, a little depressed, and afraid that if I did meet up with my friends all of those frustrations would just spill out and I'd end up in tears.

I don't like feeling vulnerable.

Tomorrow is a good day to schedule a counseling appointment. I really need to go again. I feel inadequate. I feel awkward. I feel retarded.

At the same time, I need attention. Maybe I'm just unwilling to reach out and need someone to reach out to me? I feel selfish.

I need to get out of this slump. Yesterday I decided I just need to start by smiling more.

Oddly enough, my desktop back ground is now this:

Sorry for being such a crappy friend.

Sometimes I just want to scream.

Would it make me feel better?

Do you ever feel like that?
Talk to me.

This does make me feel better though. :)

This place is a dirty city once the snow starts to clear. The dirt replaces all the snow. On the sides of the road we have piles of dirty snow.

I got a new journal the other day. It's green and cream with a pretty little colorful design on the front and a quote by Henry David Thoreau. I find his thoughts fascinating and could spend all day (or night, as the case may be) reading his journal entries. I was very delighted to have stumbled upon such a great journal. I am going to bring it to work so I can jot down thoughts for my blog... and extra ones just for me.

Last night I got locked out of my apartment. I put the house keys in Little Monster's coat for the babysitter and he left his coat at school. When I got home and realized I had no way to get in I called the apartment (this was at 6:30) and was told that they had no after hour lock-in service available. The manager (who lives on site) and on-site maintenance man said that I would have to wait until morning or call a locksmith myself. I was furious, so I drove 45 minutes to Mr B's work to get his key. When I got there I had to wait 45 minutes just to get the key from him. The gal in the office gave one of the two coaches the message, he apparently looked at his list, didn't see Mr. B's name, and said that he wasn't there instead of checking with the other coach and then proceeded to completely forget about the call. They even called a second time and he gave no response. I had been sitting there for a half hour when finally someone walking by commented on me having been waiting for a while, I explained to her my situation and she immediately pulled out her phone and called to have Mr. B sent down to me. Within 5 minutes Mr. B was there with his key. Turns out she called the shift supervisor, not just the coach, who ran to where Mr. B was working and took over for him so he could come and give me the key. The lady that helped me out was one of the main HR personnel. Mr. B said that the coach who screwed up got in trouble and the shift supervisor checked with him a couple hours later to make sure everything was okay. It was frustrating, but I'm glad that I talked to the woman I did (the second time) or I could have been waiting there all night. And I'm glad that the coach who brushed it off got in trouble too.

I think I'm going to write a letter to the corporate company that owns the complex. It's ridiculous that they wouldn't help me in at 6:30pm. They're supposed to be open until 7pm and at least one of the gals that works in the office lives on-site and there is an on-site maintenance person that could have helped as well. There should have been no reason for them not to help me. Add to that that it is winter and I have a 5 year old son. It's not the first of my complaints either. It took them until today to come and look at the window in the master bedroom. I told them about the problem when I moved in and again last Monday when the snow came and there was frost all around the window. When I called Monday they said "oh, the work order must have gotten lost in the shuffle. We had to hire a bunch of people for snow removal." That's not my problem! And the bug problem I had this summer that they insisted was my responsibility. It wasn't until I went to them repeatedly and finally complained of roaches (which they denied being possible) that they did anything. They also took a $25 check from me to have Mr. B's name put on the lease and NEVER called to tell us they were ready for him to come and sign papers. I just want to be done with this place.

Well... that's it for today. Not what I was originally going to blog about, but it came to me and I had to get it out.

Have a great week everyone!

Sushi.
Om nom nom nom.

More snow yesterday and last night.

With all the snow it feels like Reno was transported further north. This weather definitely reminds me of my growing up winters in Idaho. It's melting now though. There are very deep puddles all over town. I am starting to wonder if we're going to have a flood now.



This week I am going to keep my apartment tidy. Most evenings I just don't feel energized enough to keep it up and then spend all weekend cleaning. Last week I did pretty good and this week I want to keep it up.

This week I am going to make cookies.

What are your plans/goals for the week?

Random

I just figured out how to respond to comments on here. I just had to tweak my settings a little.

Today I was grumpy. I need to work on that. Tomorrow I'll bring peanut butter to work.
I hope they plow the street that Little Monster's school is on. This week has been crazy. I guess it's supposed to snow tonight, so will it really matter?

Yahoo/Flickr aren't working tonight. Yesterday at work one of the insurance websites were down, I wonder if Yahoo had an outage?

I'm typing without my glasses or contacts on. I can't really see what I'm writing. I can just see the little red lines underneath my text when I misspell something and then I have to squint and go back. I am so glad I wear glasses. I would hate to go around like this all the time (and no one would want to have me driving like this).

Anyway, going to bed now. Had to have hot dogs and Twinkies for dinner. I'm tired.

7 Months In

Maybe this is strange, but this apartment finally feels like home.

I know, it's been 7 months.
I'm not sure if what I think the reason is happens to be the correct one. Last week I sold a lot of our furniture via Craigslist and now we have a lot more room! I think getting rid of some of the furniture and opening up the living room helped make it more inviting to me. I'm claustrophobic. I hate clutter. It makes me uncomfortable.

So I made cookies today... and did some more cleaning/organizing. Little Monster had a snow day today (it is our first big snow storm of the season) so he helped me clean up and then helped me put up the tree. I also spent a good amount of time digging Mr. B's car out from under the snow. I'm so glad I bought that shovel last winter!

(8 1/2" since Sunday @ 10 am)

(cookies!)

(getting ready to decorate)

Today I just heard (re-heard I guess) the song 'Colorblind' by Counting Crows:

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am
Taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine

I decided to look up the meaning behind the song.  Everyone seems to agree that it's about feeling vulnerable about who you really are. "This song is about the extremes that exist within us ('Coffee black and egg white'), our unwillingness to reveal them ('Taffy stuck and tongue tied, stutter shook and uptight'), the defenses we put up to keep people from seeing our true natures ('I am covered in skin, no one gets to come in'), and the terrifying bliss when we let our defenses down to someone we love ('Pull me out from inside, I am ready, I am fine'). Colorblind is the state in which we are no longer judging our inner feelings." (taken from Song Facts)

This is definitely a feeling that comes up in relationships. Do you really want the other person to know everything about you? Do you really want to open up all parts of yourself? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that the other person will not accept you as you are? Are you afraid that once those parts of you are out in the open you would cease to exist?

It just occurs to me that I've been up since 6am. Maybe that's why I'm tired?

How was your day?

Sleeping Feels Good

Wow. Only 3 posts and I already have 3 followers. I feel loved.
But who are you 3 anonymous followers of mine, I wonder.

I've been debating about what I wanted to talk about when I wrote tonight.

• There was a fantastic article I read this morning that was sent by my friend Moses.
• It snowed today (which could prove to be interesting material... do you all know how I feel about snow?).
• I thought it might be interesting to write about my off-the-wall goal for the week: not to get any more bruises on my legs before the Army National Guard Dinner Party Saturday.
  

Instead, I'll talk about something I learned recently......it's easier to get a child to do what you want them to do when you explain to them why they need to do it.

Little Monster has fought sleeping since the day he was born. He just did not like to sleep. Until last week.

I wanted him to take a nap because he was obviously tired and most definitely cranky.
"Little Monster, we're going to take a nap after lunch."
"I don't want to take a nap."
"Well, I need you to take a nap because I can tell you're tired and you're very cranky."
He got a stubborn look on his face but before he could throw a fit I made a suggestion, "how about you nap with daddy & I on our bed? You can sleep in the middle and we can all hold hands. A nap will make you feel better."
I know he absolutely loves laying in our bed, and he had been wanting to cuddle with his dad a lot more since he started working graveyard.
"Ok," was all he said and then he ate his lunch.
After lunch was over he and I went in with his dad (Mr. B hadn't yet woken up for the day) and went down for a nap. When he woke up an hour later he climbed out of bed and left the bedroom to play in the living room. When I got up a little bit later I asked him if the nap had made him feel better. He said that it did make him feel better.

Now when I tell him it's time for bed he goes and puts his pajamas on, brushes his teeth and brings me a book. Then I tuck him in, and shut his door and I don't hear from him the rest of the night. All it took was for me to explain it to him the right way. It's funny because I've spent a long time telling him that his body has "fix-it" cells that help him heal and grow while he's sleeping, but it wasn't until he understood that it really made him feel better that it worked.

The only problem now is getting him up for school in the morning, "mom, do you have to wake me up now?"

Two questions:
1. What's something that you learned recently?
2. What is your goal for the week?

What Every Girl Wants

(Three in one day? No, I've been mulling over these for the last couple weeks.)

A couple weeks ago the gals from work asked me to go to the midnight opening of New Moon (the Twilight sequel). I was a little reluctant since I've completely avoided the series altogether but decided it would be a good bonding experience. I accepted.

So on Wednesday night I rented the original Twilight movie so I could get caught up (though I did feel that it was a bit like cheating since most people had been waiting months for the sequel and I only had to wait one day). It wasn't horrible, but... I'm not a vampire/werewolf kind of person. They're just not my thing. Superheroes? Totally. I just can't get behind a "hero" who happens to be dead, or one who happens to be half animal--both which have a very difficult time controlling their "urges." But, I put that aside. I decided I would go and have fun.

Thursday came and the gals were all excited about the movie. One remarked that the series was one that would "make you appreciate the man you're with a little less." The other gals agreed.
That puzzled me. So I watched the second movie (that was an interesting experience in itself, but not necessary for the point I'm making). It was alright. Again, not horrible, but there were some parts where I was left thinking "did the book really jump around like this without any explanation? There had to be a better explanation in the book." I don't know if I'll read the books just to find out though. I don't know if I'm that curious.

I lost myself again. So, in watching the second movie I understood what the gals meant about it making them appreciate their significant others a little less, but I did not share the feeling. In a way, the story made me appreciate Mr. B even more.

1) Mr. B doesn't put me in dangerous situations.
2) Mr. B does not have any desire to suck my blood.
3) Mr. B is not a werewolf who cannot control his temper (though sometimes I think he EATS like a werewolf).

On the more serious side though. The gals were enthralled with Edward's proclamations of love; specifically his statement "you are my life now." I get it. That's what every girl wants to hear. She wants to hear that the man she is in love with is just as in love with her. She wants to know that he is devoted to her completely. She wants to know that no matter what, he'll always be there. She wants to know that she is the center of his universe. It's true. Guys, this is what girls want to hear.

Maybe it wasn't really a revelation to me. Maybe it was that Mr. B & I had a long discussion a few days before this about our personal devotion to each other. Maybe it was that Friday afternoon Mr. B said to me, "Nikky, I am in love with you. I don't just love you. I don't just sort of like being around you. I am in love with you completely." Maybe it was because the trailer for the new movie "Dear John" was more emotional for me than the movie itself.

Maybe the difference between me and the gals from work is that two of them have "new love"; the one is recently married (earlier this year), the other is engaged (as of earlier this year), and the third gal... I really don't know... but Mr. B & I have been together for 7 1/2 years. We've had to face some pretty difficult times together. The phrases in the movies (and perhaps the books) that the gals were jealous of were phrases that you wouldn't hear, or at least wouldn't really appreciate, without some pretty heavy circumstances behind them.

Compulsive Grocery Shopping

I've devised a theory.

Everyone must have 1 item that they purchase at the grocery store every time they go grocery shopping. Whether the item is needed or not, the purchaser assumes that it is needed because they either a) simply can't remember if there is any at home or b) it's something that is not used very often, but is indeed a useful item.

Mine item is Butter. Or Margarine. It depends on my mood. But for some reason I always think we're out. I come home with another 4 count box of butter and realize as I'm putting it in the fridge that we still have a whole box left over from my last trip. We really don't use that much butter, so why do I always think we're out?

What is your item?

Talk to me.

"Pass the Peas, Please"

The phrase "Pass the Peas, Please" comes from my childhood.
I remember watching something with my mom when I was very young (I think my dad and my oldest sister were there, but I'm not too clear on that). The setting was a dinner table. The way I remember the scene was that a family was gathered around the table. The family in the scene consisted of grandparents, parents, and three children; a teen-age girl, a boy around 12 and a younger child that was possibly 6 or 7. It seemed to be a pretty elaborate meal... they were all sitting around the table. The meal progresses and the oldest daughter says "pass the peas" to her younger brother. Being a little feisty, the brother responds, "don't you mean 'pass the peas, please?'" "Pass the peas, I'm pregnant," was the older sister's response. This of course produced a rise out of everyone in the room and I honestly don't remember anything more from the movie, or tv show that was on.

That scene did have a lasting impression. For a while my mom used the 'Pass the peas, I'm pregnant' line in jest (I think, she was pregnant a lot so I suppose it could have been used seriously) and then it died down. But I thought about it from time to time.

For some reason the phrase popped in my head again. I liked it all over again. Yes, the reasons now are completely different reasons than they were when I was a child. I used to think it was funny. But now I understand the complexity of such a statement. This girl had to have been mulling over her pregnancy to just announce it like that. She wanted to get it out and be done with her secret.

In my search to locate the name of the movie or TV show that this was from I was surprised to learn that this has become a very common way for women to announce their pregnancy. There are websites dedicated to "cute ways to tell your family that you're pregnant" (when I told Mr. B I thought about saying "for our first anniversary we bought our car, for our second we'll need a car-seat," but I opted to just hand him the pregnancy test instead). The Urban Dictionary cites the phrase "pass the peas" as one said when trying to avoid talking about the elephant in the room. In the context of the movie from long ago, "pass the peas" was used as an ice-breaker for the elephant. The elephant could now come out and dance around, it could run free and not be ignored any longer!

I like that.
I like taking something that's used to avoid one thing and turning it around as a way to confront another.

So here's my challenge. When you find you're avoiding something in particular, whether a person or specific topic, confront the issue head on instead.

Let me know how you do. I want stories, I want examples.

Do you know what movie that's from?

Talk to me.

Ahhhhhhh, an outlet.

I am starting this blog with the idea of talking about the nitty-gritty, witty, and maybe the mundane. I want to talk about truth. I want this to be real and raw and... well, me. I have a lot to say. I've been keeping it all bottled up inside and it just has to come out!

So here's a little window into my life and some of my thoughts about my life and the world around me.