Sunday, December 20, 2009

Isolation

Lately I've been distancing myself from my friends.
I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say, or anything positive to add.
The last few weeks I've been feeling pretty down about everything.
Just frustrated, a little depressed, and afraid that if I did meet up with my friends all of those frustrations would just spill out and I'd end up in tears.

I don't like feeling vulnerable.

Tomorrow is a good day to schedule a counseling appointment. I really need to go again. I feel inadequate. I feel awkward. I feel retarded.

At the same time, I need attention. Maybe I'm just unwilling to reach out and need someone to reach out to me? I feel selfish.

I need to get out of this slump. Yesterday I decided I just need to start by smiling more.

Oddly enough, my desktop back ground is now this:



Sorry for being such a crappy friend.

1 comment:

Jayme Stinehart said...

I didn't know you went to a counselor. I go through some of the same spells you are describing and it is so self-defeating and frustrating. I haven't been to see someone since, well...it's been a while. Perhaps it's time to schedule another appointment? I feel that...no, I want to believe that, if I'm strong enough I won't feel these things, but it's just not so. It's true that you need to help yourself, but part of that is allowing someone else to help you. Let me know if your counselor has some good suggestions for you. :)