Dear Digestive System,

What gives? I've been eating healthy: giving you lots of fruits and veggies, eating plenty of fiber; I've been trying to drink more water, limiting my dairy, and restricting my spices. Do I really have to give up coffee? Can we compromise?

-signed me

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What day is it again?

Sunday; watched 5 documentaries, deep cleaned house (only 1 room because I'm working with a sore shoulder), finished knitting a hat, started knitting two scarves, laid out in the sun and got a slight burn, completed a couple Spanish Lessons on Rosetta Stone (Donde esta la Enbajada de Estados Unidos?), light yard work, played with Little Monster, and made Tacos for dinner.

Tomorrow; register Little Monster for new school, buy school supplies, make some appointments, deep clean another room, finish a scarf (?), lots of hugs and loves and cuddles with Little Monster.

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Up...up...up...and down.

Yesterday we had a great afternoon/evening with new friends. I love when I meet someone and we hit it off instantly...I love it that our boys get along so well too.

Today Little Monster swam by himself for the first time. He was so proud of himself & I was SO proud of him too. It was bittersweet. I know Mr. B would have liked to have been there. I know he will be so proud of our boy too. Little Monster also felt his absence, he's been weepy all afternoon.

I think we're going to have some extra cuddles tonight.
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Talking about the girls...

I just read this article on Huffington Post that my brother-in-law shared on Facebook. I was pleasantly surprised by the contents.

The article is called "Letting It All Hang Loose: How I Made Peace With My Small Boobs."  The title intrigued me, because up until the beginning of this year I was party of the "itty-bitty titty club" and have myself considered having surgery so that I could at least find better fitting clothes.  Sure, I'll admit that my body has recently decided I no longer need the chest of a 12 year old and to catch up with my 28 year old body, but I have always rejected my thoughts of surgery not only because of the complications, but because I realized that having surgery is a way of saying "I'm just not good enough."  You know what? I am good enough just the way I am...and my husband thinks so too.

I do go bra-less from time to time, I usually wear a cami just to prevent "poking out"... but I think I might just get some flesh colored pasties.

...and rant.

Don't mind me, just ranting.

I think it is shameful to watch someone hurt another as you once were and to not step in at their defense.
I think it is deplorable to hurt another in a way that you were once hurt.

It is hard to step in and say something when you see someone you love hurt another when they came to you in their pain, but it is necessary.

I can't just sit and watch. Hypocrisy and judgmental attitudes are the very reason I've avoided certain people and situations. Who are you to judge another's actions or make assumptions of another's motives? Not only that, but aren't you the pot calling the kettle black? It makes me angry that I defended you to have you act this way. Have you no shame? I will not take back my defense of you, no one should be treated this way which is why I must now say something.

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Day 188

Today was my “can-do” day.  I started at 3:45.  I woke up with a belly ache because I keep forgetting to buy lactaid.

My phone was on silent, but I happened to wake up about 2 minutes after my husband sent me a message, so I was able to chat with him for a little bit. I tried to go back to sleep… I couldn’t.  So, I decided to get on Rosetta Stone and finish preparing for my Spanish class this fall.  I was pleasantly surprised at how well I’m doing.  I found a cool site called Span¡shD!ct. I was able to review and test my vocabulary knowledge a little better than I have been able to with Rosetta Stone (and maybe I just haven’t figured out RS yet).

After I had spent a couple hours working on my Spanish vocabulary, I decided I needed to review my class schedule and see if I could arrange it any better than I had so far. I was trying to figure out what class to add in case my request for my core math substitute was accepted and I discovered that I could not only add a Psych elective, but get rid of the dreaded Saturday class for a fabulous Tues/Thurs class!  So, I still have to call my advisor on Monday and find out if I still need another core science class and if I don’t then I have to figure out another elective (I’ve discovered that a lot of upper division psych classes are at the same time on Tues/Thurs, who thought that was a good idea?).

I spent a lot of time working on my vocabulary and my schedule.  Little Monster didn’t wake up until almost 10 so I had a lot of time alone to work on those projects in silence.  After he got up we got our day underway.

I drove into town a couple hours early for a birthday party and got a set of 4 double-point knitting needles to attempt making a hat.  If it works I’ll post a photo when I’m done.  I’ve only just finished the first row and it was a PAIN, but I am hopeful it will get better.

On my second stop in town I got back to my car and it wouldn’t start…I waited in the parking lot for a while hoping the person in front of me would come back to give me a jump, but the person next to me had one of those cool portable battery jump things and got me started.  I went straight to the closest auto shop and got a new battery.  Batteries are expensive!  It has been 3-4 years since I last replaced my battery so it didn’t surprise me.  When I went to pay the guy made a comment about my make-shift aluminum-foil fix for my loose fitting terminals.  He made the comment like it was the craziest thing he’d seen and I explained that was my fix 3-4 years ago when they were loose.  He laughed about it, but he replaced the terminals for me.

The birthday party was a lot of fun.  I’m very glad we made it, even if we were late from the car situation.

The best thing about today? I didn’t freak out when the car wouldn’t start.  I was frustrated at first, but I was calm.  Afterwards I was pretty darn impressed with how calmly I handled the situation.  I got frustrated, that passed super quickly and I started making things happen, I didn’t sit and cry or freak out.  I’ve been practicing keeping my emotions in check and I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere.  Mr. B asked if that meant I was growing up…I told him I was growing as a person but I never want to completely grow up.

Life Is

"Life is happiness and unhappiness. Life is day and night, life is life and death. You have to be aware of both." - Osho


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Day 177

What a summer so far!  Busy busy busy.  I have had only 1 or 2 days without anything planned.  Being busy has been wonderful and horrible all at once.  I feel torn between taking some time at home just to sit and taking Little Monster off to do something fun, something new. 

We had a wonderful time on Independence Day. Our city has a big day-long celebration in the park; a parade (which we followed with Hot Dogs and Slurpees), watching a Chinook fly in some Army National Guard members preparing for deployment, face painting and kids games, a flag raising ceremony, food and fireworks… it was a long and fun filled day.  However, the day was underscored by the absence of Mr. B.  But we did not forget him.

This was my most emotional Independence Day to date.  I was so emotional that I canceled my plans to have friends come over and spend the day with us and instead spent the entire day at the park.  I didn’t want to be home.  I knew being at home would be the worst possible thing I could do (for Little Monster as well).

It was hot, but it was fun.  Wal-Mart was even at the park passing out cold bottles of water and encouraging everyone to drink lots of water which I thought was pretty cool.  I packed water but it got pretty warm after a while with the temps being close to 100°.  It was nice to end the day with fireworks.  I think this was the first year that Little Monster really truly enjoyed the fireworks.

While yesterday was fun and exciting, I think I got a bit too much sun and didn’t eat or drink enough water… been kind of in a funk all day.

Oh and I did something silly today.  I took a nap… and then when I woke up I ran into the wall on my way to the bathroom (to be fair, it was right at the bathroom door).  I have a little bump on my head that I keep forgetting about and touching accidentally.  The only reason I keep touching it is because it’s at my hairline and I keep running my fingers through my hair because I got it trimmed today.  Which reminds me… my hair is starting to get long and it’s the healthiest I can ever remember it being.

Tomorrow starts another busy day…