"The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most"
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by
This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And hidden in the public eye
Such a stellar monument to loneliness
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by...
Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most
And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all..or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most
Life is chaos. Life is ugly. Life is hard, unpredictable, and cruel. But life is beautiful too. How is that possible? Right now I just want to run away and hide. I want to sleep the next year away and not even know it's happening. Last year I thought that it was it, that's all I had to deal with, but everything changes. Security is a counterfeit. Nothing lasts forever.
Mr. B is leaving in two weeks and I really don't know when he'll be back. It sounds like a year in a half. It could be more, it could be less. So I put in my notice at work and I'm moving to Colorado. I just need something completely different. I need to be with family. I need to be away from everything that reminds me of him... but am I doing the right thing? I want Little Monster to be as comfortable as he can be while Mr. B is away. Maybe I can just stay at home with him full-time and stay here? Would that do it? I don't know, I don't know. I'm sad. I'm afraid. I know I can handle this, I know I can, I just don't want to. I don't want to be alone. So is moving to Colorado the best thing? Should I move to Idaho? I don't want to go. I don't want to stay. I want someone to decide for me.
And I feel so selfish. Because I know so many people going through their own big things right now and I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I just can't be the strong one right now. I'm tired of being the strong one.
"Suddenly Everything Has Changed"
Putting all the vegetables away
that you bought at the grocery store today.
And it goes fast, you think of the past.
Suddenly everything has changed.
Driving home the sky accelerates.
And the clouds all form a geometric shape.
And it goes fast, you think of the past.
Suddenly everything has changed.
Putting all the clothes you washed away,
As you're folding up the shirts you hesitate.
Then it goes fast, you think of the past.
Suddenly everything has changed.
