Growth

“Whenever we make our happiness conditional on something else (I can be happy when I am in a relationship, when I have more money in the bank, when I lose 20 pounds…), we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to be happy and enjoy life right now!” – Jonathan Manske & Mattison Grey

This morning I went running with a friend. Instead of saying to myself “I just ran!” I said, “I didn’t run as much as I thought I should.” It took me from feeling good because I ran to feel bad because I didn’t do enough.

The above quote is from a book I have been reading about how to inspire other people by taking judgmental statements out of speech. That particular quote is from the chapter all about removing self-judgment from our inner-dialogue.

I am one of the most self-critical people I know. I am sensitive. You look at me funny and instead of thinking you might be squinting because the sun is shining in your eyes I think that you are inwardly judging me. Why? Because I am judging myself.

Since classes ended I have done nothing but self-criticize and think about how happy I’ll be once ___ happens. I don’t know what started the cycle, but I started to doubt myself. Doubt my motives. Doubt my ability. Doubt my intentions.

Will I be happy when I finally can run as for as fast as I think I should? No. I will be happy when I realize that I am good enough, just the way I am. I need to stop comparing myself to the crazy idea of “normal” that I have lodged in my brain and start comparing myself to me. No one else is me, I cannot be anyone else. I am perfectly me, just the way I am.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss

 

So, on my quest to learn how to motivate and inspire other people to do and be their best I have discovered some things about myself. As long as I’m living I’m growing and learning.