Thursday, August 19, 2010

Five Life Lessons

(this was supposed to be posted yesterday... but yesterday... didn't go as planned, see #2 below)

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt."
Thomas Merton

This last year has been pretty eventful for me.  I've already moved 1, 2, 3... times and still have at least 2 more moves to come.  But I have learned SO much already and the year is not even over yet.

Normally, I would have these sort of thoughts in June, but my year has been too busy (until now) to spend time contemplating such matters.

What do I want to take away from this year?  For starters:

1)  Just because you get hurt does not mean you should stop trusting or letting people in.  When you do hurt, spend time hurting... it's okay to hurt.  It's okay to be angry.  But do not become bitter.  Let it roll and remember that it most likely isn't anything personal.  People are not perfect and each of us has our own misgivings, our own "troubles" to work through.

2)  Life does not follow a schedule, adhere to plans, or give notice; it happens.  It is unwise to be upset when something unexpected happens.  Expect the best and prepare for the worst.  Be prepared for the best too, it happens sometimes.  Here's a quote my friend posted this morning:

"Surrender to the moment. If you're feeling angry, get mad. If you're setting a boundary, dive into that. If you're grieving, grieve. Get into it. Step where instinct leads. If you're waiting, wait. If you have a task, throw yourself into the work. Get into the moment; the moment is right."
Melody Beattie

3)  It's okay to make mistakes.  There is no true failure unless we fail to learn from our mistakes (or the mistakes people make in front of us).  Instead, perceive failure as the best opportunity to learn.  Repeating mistakes is insanity.

4)  Do not spend time dwelling in the past, live in the now!

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 We can't undo or relive what was, but we can shape and create what will be.

5) Laugh as often as possible.  This has been somewhat easy of late since I have a miniature comedian for a son.  Recently I've heard such things as: "I looked every where I wanted to."  "I wasn't supposed to draw him" he said pointing at one of the people he drew, "he's supposed to be invisible because he's my ghost friend and no one else can see him."  Little Monster: "I totally won at tic, tac, toe.  He doesn't play very good.  He drew a star and I circled it." Me: "Isn't that cheating?" Little Monster: "No, he didn't make an 'X'."

What have you learned so far this year?


Leslie Hodge said...

I learned that if you open yourself up, you may find that someone who is just as willing as you are to make life and love the best it possible can be. Thanks for your thoughts! It is a healing balm for trying days!

Nikky said...

Leslie, thanks for sharing! It's definitely hard to open up completely to someone else. I need to keep reminding myself that too. :)