Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Missing You

Each day is a challenge.  How do you keep moving when you miss someone so much it hurts?  Last year I thought that if I could just get through those 5 months everything would be okay.  How was I to know that I would again face the same challenge?  And now... it seems the end is so far away.  But I find it so hard to let go and just cry.  Somehow I feel that as long as I keep from crying I'll be okay.

I keep trying to find ways to distract myself, just so I don't have to think about everything going on.  Is that a good approach?  I bought some games for my son to play too, to keep him preoccupied.  The last week has been especially difficult on him.  I hope that starting summer school tomorrow will help keep him busy enough... I know it will give me some time to do something for me.  My goal is to exercise while he's in school.

It just feels like half of me is missing.  How do you deal with that?  When someone dies I think it's easier because you can just move on... but this is only temporary... how do you deal with that?  I need to go watch my deployment videos again.  This is only temporary.  Everything will be okay.  Breathe.

Listening to songs that remind me of him make me smile. I love my husband and it's nice to know that he loves me too.  I can do this.  Breathe.

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