Monday, January 4, 2010


Yesterday I didn't do as much as I had hoped. I'm already behind today as well.
I managed to get sick and it's really kicking my butt (after I took Little Monster to school this morning I went back to bed and slept until noon), but also last night I got a downer email from my mom.

In April my grandfather (Papa) was diagnosed with lymphoma... Mr B & I were on our way to visit the family when we got the news. He's had chemo since then, which I thought was going well, but I'll be honest and say I really don't know if the cancer was progressing or dying from the chemo.

My mom said that my grandmother had to call 9-1-1 and have an ambulance take him to the hospital. He's been getting confused and having problems speaking, but they're not sure how much of that is related to a sleeping aid that they gave him. He asked for all of my aunts to come and be with him... so the last of them arrived yesterday. I wish I could take off and go, but in some ways I guess I just want to wait and see what happens... especially since I'd have to take a couple days off work and take Little Monster out of school. I also don't want to see Papa the way he is now... maybe that's selfish, I just don't know if I could handle that. He's always been very strong, lively, and together and I don't know if I could see him so weak and disoriented. So here I am, conflicted about whether I should just go... or just wait and see what happens. I wish these kind of decisions were easier.

I've been putting off today's items long enough... time to go get busy.

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