It's November, I'm back home, and my first Yellow Ribbon meeting is this weekend. I wish I could slow time for the next few months. Next year can go quickly, in fact, I'd prefer it go as quickly as possible. I keep reminding myself to breathe, to relax. I have to put such an effort into relaxing that I feel guilty I'm neglecting my homework... but I'd rather spend time with my husband right now that reading Plato's philosophies (what a groaner).
I have decided that I am going to look at my hubby's deployment as a good thing. It is a good thing and I think it would be bad for me to look at it so negatively. Yes, I am not happy that we'll be apart for approximately a year. That is not an exciting idea. But, he is serving our country... and helping us reach our goal of owning a home. He's setting a good example for our son, and supporting our family. And while he's away, I am going to continue school, work, and raise our son. I really really don't want to complain... and I don't want my friends to pity me. Neither of us feel a need for even an ounce of pity. My hubby joined with both of us understanding the high possibility of a deployment, and yeah, it'll be hard, but it is not something that was forced on us and it's not a tragedy. A lot of our friends don't agree with the war and see deployment as a very negative thing... and while I may not agree with certain aspects of the war, I am not going to see his deployment as something negative and I do not see US presence in Afghanistan as a negative thing either.
Anyway... so right now I'm avoiding homework (I have an essay, two quizzes, and my normal weekly assignments do) and not working on my word count for NaNoWriMo. I am excited that I joined up this year and I'm enjoying my story (1688 words so far). Back to work (homework) and then to back to my Novel.
My goal this week is to stay positive... and work through all my emotions before the meeting this weekend. I don't want to have breakdown at the meeting. But I am looking forward to meeting spouses who've been through this before.
2 comments:
Hey Nikki. You ready to come to back to CC? lol! Hey have a new blog URL. I bought a (dot)com domain. It's www.mountainmum.com Grab my new button.
Good luck this weekend!
Kristina
I can see why it is so important to support your husband in his decision. I agree with everything you stated. He is doing this to better himself, his country and to provide a better life for his family. (I know his reasons are more complex than that)
Does this change the fact that you will miss him like crazy, have anxiety attacks, long for the day to have your husband home- No. So on those days where you need to go out, take pictures of nature, eat Sushi. Call a friend- DO IT. On those days where you need to cry, pick up a sappy movie, eat some chocolate and cry- Do it.
And on the other days- we will just have to know that their is no greater job than giving back to your country. :)
I just hope he remains safe so he can enjoy the life he is helping to create.
Jenn Olsen
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