1) My husband is amazing. He called me just to have me change my radio station in the car so we could be listening to the same thing at the same time.

2) I have incredible friends who are taking risks and making big changes. From producing a documentary, deciding to write a book, daring to go back to school… and so much more. My friends are amazing and they are such an inspiration to me. They remind me that in order to make a big changes you must be willing to take big risks. What inspiring people!

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I have written and re-written the second part of this entry multiple times. I was writing about what I was thinking when I couldn’t sleep last night. I decided I don’t want to be so vulnerable. If I voice my fears, my suspicions, my doubt, my inadequacies would it really serve a purpose?

There is a distance between me and some of my dearest friends. A distance whose origins are complicated to explain. I am not sure how to bridge the gap. Sitting here and thinking critically I feel that I have made some effort to reach out, but it was not met with the response I expected or anticipated. Were those efforts enough? I don’t know. I just have to keep trying. But when is the point where I say “enough is enough” and stop trying? I call, no call backs. I text, no reply. When I do get a call it is usually during some crazy-busy moment, I call back and no response. It would be easy to say “oh they must be mad at me” for some crazy reason… but rationally I realize that my friends are busy too. If it were just one friend I would think it was just coincidence, but multiple friends makes me believe that something else is at work. Did I do something or is everyone else just as crazy busy as I am? I’ll assume the latter. It makes me feel more at ease and I would rather think positively. If you’re one of my friends who has become distant and is reading this and there is actually something aside from being crazy busy that is keeping you away, please let me know.

Love

When I think of “forever love” I think of my grandparents.

This photo was taken the last night that my grandfather was conscious before he passed. That night he went to sleep and never woke.

But what a wonderful evening it was! It was their 65th wedding anniversary. All 6 of their daughters, a handful of their 17 grandchildren, and several friends came to the hospital to celebrate.

 

I think of this day often. I think of my grandfather and how much he is missed. I think of everything my grandparents taught me and of the many memories I made with them. I think of their matching Hawaiian shirts. And I smile.

I smile because I realize how fortunate I am to have witnessed such a great love. And I am happy because I have my own “forever love” and I can’t wait to grow old with him.